My fiancée and I originally slated our wedding date for June 20, 2020. Summertime, beautiful weather, and great for outdoor pictures. As we pondered further, September became a better option. A cooler time of year. Additional time for planning and saving. Only sacrificing my ideal colors, which aren’t in the Fall spectrum.
Our decision was made last year. Who would’ve imagined 365 days ago, let alone 60, how abruptly our world would change.
As the virus has escalated, as the spread has worsened domestically, the little girl within has fallen in defeat. The little girl who has dreamed about walking down the aisle her entire life. Knowing something is so close yet so warily far away, it’s a lonely feeling. Honestly, a loneliness, that at times, my loved ones can’t remedy.
I’ve screamed. I’ve cried. I’ve had my selfish moments. But, I’ve too thought of those I know, and don’t know, that are in the same boat, and maybe an even more disappointing one. It genuinely breaks my heart for all of us. We’re prepped with the understanding that something or some things will go wrong on our wedding day, but damn, I doubt a pandemic was ever a planned consideration.
Our September date is up in the air. We decided to wait and make a decision in late May. Well .. MAY .. IS .. HERE!! I don’t think I’m prepared to make a call in a few short weeks. By nature, I’m an indecisive person, but this is so much bigger. Yes, deep down, I do understand, and believe, the safest and best decision is to delay, but that doesn’t make it easier. What if September is safe? What if our back-up isn’t? What if both aren’t ideal? What if ..
At the end of the day, we are blessed. We are healthy and safe. Our loved ones are healthy and safe too. Yet, I’d be lying if I said it isn’t difficult to find a silver lining right now. It simply isn’t fair, not to us, not to the thousands and thousands of other couples having to adjust or cancel their nuptials as well. We all deserve the perfect day, just how we’ve always envisioned. Maybe, just maybe, that day does await us, and we just have to remain patient and positive in the meantime.
Eventually, we’ll step foot back into life, albeit a new life and a new world, and recreate ourselves once again. As we continually inch closer, remember to bask in the hope, light, and love of all that surrounds us. Know that even if you feel alone, you never are.